🔗 Share this article Glamour, Sophistication and Pre-Approved One-Liners: FIFA World Cup Event Heads to Washington D.C.. The listings for the John F. Kennedy Center in the nation's capital shows a playful dual-language performance and an improvised Shakespeare troupe. Conspicuously missing from the advertised events is the upcoming FIFA World Cup draw, likely because it is a exclusively invitation-only gathering. Organizers likely want to avoid any uninvited attendees from darkening the doorstep at what promises to be an drawn-out, self-aggrandizing ceremony where well-paid celebrities will doubtlessly echo the old cliche that "football unites the world." A Star-Studded Crew A glamorous event is set to be emceed by former model and TV host Heidi Klum together with small-statured American standup comedian and actor Kevin Hart. Adding to the star power will be American football icon Eli Manning on welcoming duty and actor Danny Ramirez as a roaming correspondent. Together, they will host a production that will certainly have English football fans of a certain age longing for the halcyon, pomp-free days of former managers, FA officials, the old draw system and a trusty velvet bag of simple, numbered balls. Slated to last nearly three grueling hours, the show will include a lengthy agenda of speechifying, overly sentimental highlight reels, pre-vetted jokes, famous faces, performances from artists with perhaps little shame or financial motivations, and then... at last, the real World Cup draw. Sporting Legends on Ceremony Detail Among those tasked with conducting the ceremony? NBA giant Shaquille O'Neal, hockey great Wayne Gretzky, football star Tom Brady and baseball slugger Aaron Judge, all selecting numbered spheres under the watchful eye of ex-footballer Rio Ferdinand. Given the considerable, untapped reservoir of personality possessed by these ageing sporting icons, short of an uniformed security team storming the event, it's hard to envision what could potentially go wrong. In reality, very little, if the tone-deaf defence of FIFA's well-documented World Cup exorbitant ticket pricing mounted by an overly deferential spokesperson is any sort of indicator. Upon being questioned if tickets should be more accessible for non-millionaires, the reply was vague. "In my view we have to be conscious of that and I think FIFA are definitely people that are conscious of that," was the statement. "But listen, I think we can look at every industry, every sector, we could have that discussion about things," he added. The suggestion appeared that premium costs are justified when compared with other luxury goods. The Football Business With 42 nations already qualified for next year's jamboree and another six due to join, there will be a genuine feeling of giddiness once the opening acts conclude and the main draw gets under way. But as fans across the globe wait with bated breath to see which three teams their own country will face in the initial phase, the suspense pales in comparison to that which precedes the announcement of the recipient of FIFA's inaugural award for peace for "people who help unite people in peace through unwavering dedication and notable deeds." Given that the draw is in Washington and the World Cup is primarily in the US, speculation about the recipient are ripe, though the hints are there. "I have no worries at the moment. I was in contact with the owner today. My connection with him is very strong really. I have a real transparent and frank relationship. So regarding my position in that sense I have completely no worries whatsoever" – comments from a manager whose side on a five-game winless run, providing a classic remark likely to be revisited should a dismissal occur in the future. Readers' Letters "Further to the mention of a possible club named Kevin... there is an talented Brazilian winger named Kevin at a Premier League club who cost north of £30m. Perhaps Kevin could be asked to purchase a Highland League club and bestow his name on it." "Going to local games in the 80s/90s, when the opponent was 'Keith', the reply was: 'What, on his own?'" "My reading ceased after nine words. 'Comprised of'! What was the thought process? To comprise means to consist of. So to comprise of means to consist of of. The extra 'of' is as unnecessary as an additional referee." "Concern is growing ahead of FIFA's World Cup draw: just what memorable tune will certain performers come up with if a political figure refuses to leave the stage, thereby necessitating an encore?"